Punk Rock Saved My Life

Two weeks in and nothing really has changed, I’m still living mostly inside my mind. I’m alone in the house this evening – I’m the only one here who doesn’t need interaction with other people, but it’s ok; she’s learnt to accept my hermetic tendencies and doesn’t take my refusals to attend social interactions as a personal slight. Which is good because they’re not. I floated around the idea that I might attend the monthly drinking event I used to be a regular at, she said it would be good for me to go. It’s happening tomorrow and every hour it gets closer I can think of more excuses why I shouldn’t go. See how I feel tomorrow, eh?

I’ve sort of fallen back into to my old ways as a vegetarianism  Not by any great conscious effort – I still don’t have any moral objection, it just seems to have ended up that way after Christmas. I also haven’t drunk booze since then. I’m another stone lighter. I guess that’s my body’s way of telling me that I wasn’t cut out for steak and gin.

All this may sound quite like i’m quite sad and down but to be honest most days I’m feeling pretty good- free almost. It’s only the occasional nagging thought that I should be doing something ‘constructive’ ( ie getting paid) with my time rather than flitting though just doing as I please, learning what takes my fancy, that brings me down. I realise how much of my ‘constructive’ time as an employee was just really a complete waste, both for me and whomever had the pleasure of employing me. I’ve fallen out of love with being an employee. Meandering through life like a mountain stream.